NoseyPARCA is an online newsfeed about Plantation, Fort William

Nosey press releases are typically issued by Jennifer Seitz and published on EMD's (=Mark Drayton's) eponymous 'Download' on SubStack - see link (in subheading) below. Most releases are drafted by Mark and edited by Jennifer. Nosey house style is basically Mark's, and other contributors are encouraged to adapt theirs to his, within reason.

Archive (NB: This is usually updated first)

April 2022

<#1> (11th April), <#2> (13th April), <#3> (17th April), <#4> (18th April).

END of archive

NB: Occasionally, entries are added to the above list a day or so in advance of the scheduled publication of a release.

Style and process

Nosey house style for press releases is, first, to refer to them as 'press releases' rather than 'news releases' because that's the vernacular. However, 'NEWS RELEASE' is used in the heading of the release itself because it is more accurate and editors are familiar with both terms.

Each draft release begins with:

  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/
 DRAFT ONLY - NEWS RELEASE - DRAFT ONLY
  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

Each issued release begins with:

  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/
 NEWS RELEASE - NEWS RELEASE - NEWS RELEASE
  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

A typical release generally continues with something along the lines of:

 NEWS RELEASE
 
 Community councillor announces new initiative to [...]
 
 DD MONTH YYYY FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

As yet, Nosey have never needed to embargo a press release (but you never know, right?).

A typical release generally concludes with with something along the lines of:

 Entirely predictably, Mr Drayton couldn't resist further adding that,
 ideally, residents should join the <https://NextDoor.co.uk> social-networking
 platform/app rather than relying on Facebook, say.  "I don't trust
 that censorship-loving [Mark] Zuckerberg bastard any further than I
 could comfortably excrete him," Mr Drayton has previously explained.
 "Fuck that cunt."
 
 As we reported six days ago, Mr Drayton's views regarding Mr
 Zuckerberg are all-too-well known to readers of his 'Wednesday
 Headway' SubStack columns, part of his so-called 'Drayton Download':
 on 8th & 15th September 2021 Mr Drayton re-posted a long article by
 British-born science journalist Nicholas Wade defending the 'lab-leak'
 hypothesis of Covid-19's origin; Mr Drayton's brief introduction (at
 <https://draytonmark.substack.com/p/wed-head-xxv-pt1>) forthrightly
 condemned Facebook for censoring discussion of the theory.
 
 Mr Zuckerberg remains unavailable for comment.
 
 END
 
 NOTE FOR EDITORS
 Further information about this release can be obtained from the following:
 (for NoseyPARCA DOT WordPress DOT com)
   Jennifer Seitz (Secretary)
   that.tiresome.rationalist AT gmail DOT com
 (as a member of Fort William, Inverlochy, and Torlundy Community Council)
   Mark Drayton
   EddieMDrayton AT gmail DOT com
 
  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

The "Fuck that cunt" quotation is sometimes included, sometimes omitted. Kind of depends on whether it's my time of the month. -Jx

--

For office use only:-

Drafting Area

News Release #4

<https://NoseyPARCA.WordPress.com> news release #4 - 18th April 2022

/*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

DRAFT ONLY - NEWS RELEASE - DRAFT ONLY

/*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

NEWS RELEASE

Community councillor set to meet Tory "eco-warrior" this Friday

18 APRIL 2022 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

A Conservative election candidate and self-described eco-warrior who reckons that her party are "so sweet to tolerate" such a "political maverick" is all set to visit Lochaber's most deprived area.

The Conservative And Unionist Party candidate for the Fort William and Ardnamurchan ward, local GP Dr Fiona Fawcett, today became the third candidate to accept a "challenge" to visit Fort William's high-SIMD (Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation) estate, Plantation - and, indeed, the second to fix a day and time to do so. The only Fort William community councillor presently to live in Plantation - Mr Mark Drayton of 6 Morven Place - issued the challenge at lunchtime on Monday 11th April but for technical reasons was unable to convey it to Dr Fawcett until noon on Friday the 15th. Welcoming Dr Fawcett's prompt acceptance, Mr Drayton said:

"I'm sincerely grateful to Dr Fawcett for agreeing to visit Plantation during her campaign to win a seat on Highland Council in May, especially as the results of last years by-election strongly suggest that she is all-but-certain to take one of the four seats contested by only five candidates, anyway - so she's unlikely to need to campaign very hard. To her great credit it took her barely four hours to agree to visit Plantation - this very week, indeed: mid-morning Friday [22nd April], eight days after our big three-skip spring-clean here, which was a great success. All credit to the revived community associaton [the 'PCA'] about that, by the way."

Mr Drayton also took the opportunity to mock and deride two other Ward 21 candidates, Mr Angus MacDonald and Dr Kate Willis for "flip-flopping" on pledges to visit 'The Planny', as Plantation is affectionately known by its residents. "Mr MacDonald's excuse was frankly laughable - but at least he provided one: I got crickets from the likes of Willis." Dr Willis's reason for cancelling last Friday's scheduled visit to Plantation at a day's notice remains unexplained and emails from this journalist have been ignored despite earlier emails being answered promptly. Mr MacDonald, a novelist as well as an entrepreneur, initially justfied his change of mind by explaining that Mr Drayton's habit of occasionally using very strong sexual swear-words to underline his remarks "appals" him, something Mr Drayton was quick to ridicule as almost bizarrely disproportionate: "let's get this straight, shall we? An in all likelihood lab-grown virus slaughters millions, [Mark] Zuckerberg censors the fact for months, but instead Angus is 'appalled' by the language I use to denounce him? Really?"

Noting that Dr Fawcett's visit happens to co-incide with 2022's 'Earth Day', Mr Drayton drew a sharp contrast between the "crazy views" of the "dogmatic" Dr Willis and the "receptive" tone adopted by Dr Fawcett, who "apparently 'can’t wait to meet folk and answer their questions, hear their stories and try to help if I can'," he said. "It's interesting, too, that Dr Fawcett thinks that 'every day frankly should be Earth Day,' something Dr Willis surely also believes but, hey kids, look who's just talking the talk and who's walking the walk (or will be on Friday)?" Mr Drayton has previously described Dr Willis as "dense" and Mr MacDonald as "hopelessly naive - totally out of his depth, frankly. He shows not the least understanding of what he's going up against. The Nessiemafiosi are just going to run rings round him. I don't know Mr [Thomas] MacLennan from Adam, actually - he was before my time - but he's got to be a far, far better bet: look at the stress his flyer puts on local spending, local decision making, accountability, on his being 'experienced and determined.' Those are the words of a guy with scars on his back. I really hope I hear from him soon: on the face of it he sounds like my kind of guy, but he's got one hell of a mountain to climb electorally, unfortunately."

A little earlier, Dr Fawcett had taken a moment to elaborate on her willingness to answer resident's questions, assuring Mr Drayton that "I never tell people what they want to hear, that would be against my principles, I tell them what I believe and what I know to be true and I promise to always tell you the truth." Like Dr Fawcett, Mr Drayton hopes that residents will come out in person on Friday, but allows that a great many people will be at work so will have to send him questions for him to ask her instead. He confirmed that his SubStack (at <https://DraytonMark.SubStack.com>) would be the "centre of operations" for this, but also that other social network platforms would be "drawn into the circle," enabling questions to be posed publically (as comments below the master copy of this very news release at <https://DraytonMark.SubStack.com/p/news-release-4>, or privately by email, NextDoor message, or even SMS (to 07933 760031).

Entirely predictably, Mr Drayton couldn't resist further adding that, ideally, residents should join the <https://NextDoor.co.uk> social-networking platform/app rather than relying on Facebook, say. "I don't trust that censorship-loving [Mark] Zuckerberg bastard any further than I could comfortably excrete him," Mr Drayton has previously explained.

As we reported exactly a week ago, Mr Drayton's views regarding Mr Zuckerberg are all-too-well known to readers of his 'Wednesday Headway' SubStack columns, part of his so-called 'Drayton Download': on 8th & 15th September 2021 Mr Drayton re-posted a long article by British-born science journalist Nicholas Wade defending the 'lab-leak' hypothesis of Covid-19's origin; Mr Drayton's brief introduction (at <https://draytonmark.substack.com/p/wed-head-xxv-pt1>) forthrightly condemned Facebook for censoring discussion of the theory.

Mr Zuckerberg remains unavailable for comment.

END

NOTE FOR EDITORS Further information about this release can be obtained from the following: (for NoseyPARCA DOT WordPress DOT com)

 Jennifer Seitz (Secretary)
 that.tiresome.rationalist AT gmail DOT com

(as a member of Fort William, Inverlochy, and Torlundy Community Council)

 Mark Drayton
 EddieMDrayton AT gmail DOT com

/*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/