PARCA/Nosey

NoseyPARCA is an online newsfeed about Plantation, Fort William

Nosey press releases are typically issued by Jennifer Seitz and published on EMD's (=Mark Drayton's) eponymous 'Download' on SubStack - see link (in subheading) below. Most releases are drafted by Mark and edited by Jennifer. Nosey house style is basically Mark's, and other contributors are encouraged to adapt theirs to his, within reason.

Archive (NB: This is usually updated first)

April 2022

<#1> (11th April), <#2> (13th April), <#3> (17th April), <#4> (18th April).

END of archive

NB: Occasionally, entries are added to the above list a day or so in advance of the scheduled publication of a release.

Style and process

Nosey house style for press releases is, first, to refer to them as 'press releases' rather than 'news releases' because that's the vernacular. However, 'NEWS RELEASE' is used in the heading of the release itself because it is more accurate and editors are familiar with both terms.

Each draft release begins with:

  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/
 DRAFT ONLY - NEWS RELEASE - DRAFT ONLY
  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

Each issued release begins with:

  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/
 NEWS RELEASE - NEWS RELEASE - NEWS RELEASE
  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/

A typical release generally continues with something along the lines of:

 NEWS RELEASE
 
 Community councillor announces new initiative to [...]
 
 DD MONTH YYYY FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

As yet, Nosey have never needed to embargo a press release (but you never know, right?).

A typical release generally concludes with with something along the lines of:

 Entirely predictably, Mr Drayton couldn't resist further adding that,
 ideally, residents should join the <https://NextDoor.co.uk> social-networking
 platform/app rather than relying on Facebook, say.  "I don't trust
 that censorship-loving [Mark] Zuckerberg bastard any further than I
 could comfortably excrete him," Mr Drayton has previously explained.
 "Fuck that cunt."
 
 As we reported six days ago, Mr Drayton's views regarding Mr
 Zuckerberg are all-too-well known to readers of his 'Wednesday
 Headway' SubStack columns, part of his so-called 'Drayton Download':
 on 8th & 15th September 2021 Mr Drayton re-posted a long article by
 British-born science journalist Nicholas Wade defending the 'lab-leak'
 hypothesis of Covid-19's origin; Mr Drayton's brief introduction (at
 <https://draytonmark.substack.com/p/wed-head-xxv-pt1>) forthrightly
 condemned Facebook for censoring discussion of the theory.
 
 Mr Zuckerberg remains unavailable for comment.
 
 END
 
 NOTE FOR EDITORS
 Further information about this release can be obtained from the following:
 (for NoseyPARCA DOT WordPress DOT com)
   Jennifer Seitz (Secretary)
   that.tiresome.rationalist AT gmail DOT com
 (as a member of Fort William, Inverlochy, and Torlundy Community Council)
   Mark Drayton
   EddieMDrayton AT gmail DOT com
 
  /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/ /*\ \*/
 

The "Fuck that cunt" quotation is sometimes included, sometimes omitted. Kind of depends on whether it's my time of the month. -Jx


--

Drafting Area

Community councillor set to meet Tory "eco-warrior" this Friday

18 APRIL 2022 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

A Conservative election candidate and self-described eco-warrior who admits that her party